Queen Geek

Mawwied

2011-07-25T16:50:00.000-06:00

This is how I feel on the inside

2010-09-13T22:39:00.001-06:00

Snippet

2010-04-22T16:54:00.003-06:00

girl: "Hey, Guess what?"
boy: "What?"
girl: "I have to pee. Are you surprised?"
boy: "Nope. I've become comfortable with your pee-ness."
girl: "My penis?"
boy: "Um, no."

Bunny!

2009-08-02T21:29:00.002-06:00

I made this and I named him George.

Time Catcher

2009-07-31T18:25:00.003-06:00

I've developed a new habit that I am absolutely loving. When the mood strikes me, I write down a descriptions of a moment in time as I'm experiencing it. Taste, touch, sound, smell, thoughts-- everything. I've come to look at it like catching butterflies and pinning them down for people to see. Though (and I'm quoting myself here) it's not nearly as beautiful and not nearly as mean. I've been giving most of these time "butterflies" to a certain someone who tends to inspire me these days. But here's one that I'm keeping for myself. It was one of those moments where I was so desperately grateful to be alive and to experience joy and exhilaration in something that in another mood I might have shrugged off. So, I caught it for myself :

July 29th 10:29pm

I have been sitting on my bed, with all the lights off, watching a storm as it moves toward me. Thick bolts of lightning are touching down on the other side of the city. The air has been still and heavy-- slightly charged. But the wind has picked up now. I can smell the rain.

The thunder is getting closer. It's dark and quiet until the lighting fills my room with silver light. Now the first tiny rain drops are falling against the glass of my window and pushing through the screen to land on my face and arms.

The wind is picking up and the thunder rattles the window pane. It's raining harder now, flashes of lightning illuminate the torrent like silver streamers in the dark.

I want to run outside, feel the rain against my skin, dance with the wind and bellow with the thunder.

But the storm has not reached here in earnest. It looks like it's passing me by-- going around me. This was just the fringe of it and it's nearly over now.

Oops, I Missed It.

2009-07-23T21:23:00.004-06:00

July 19th was the 4th anniversary of Queen Geek. My first post was short and sweet-ish.

A lot has changed since then. A lot.

So... em... yeah. Hooray for four years of Queen Geek. Where's the cake?

The Invisable Man Has a Motorcycle

2009-07-22T21:14:00.004-06:00

Frankenstory # 1

2009-07-15T21:51:00.004-06:00

I found the best website! It's called Frankenstor y. You and a person of your choosing write a short story together. The trick is that Person A can only see the last few words of what Person B has written. It makes for comedy. There will be more. Oh yes, there will be more.

He saw the ocean for the first time when he was 65 years old. The ocean was something that had called to him since he was a little boy. But each time he planned a trip, something got in the way. Looking out the window, Michael sighed deeply. "Honey. The werewolves and zombies are out again. Have you seen my silver bullets?" "Babe, they're in the suitcase next to your bermudas." "Thanks" he relplied. "Yer the greatest! I'll get the car." The car, it turned out was a ancient Studebaker with lawn chairs duck-taped to the floor for seats and no windshield. "Are you sure this thing is safe?" The man asked. He was answered with a smile and a wink. "The average airspeed velocity of an African Swallow in a dive is 3.9 meters per second squared. Now lets kick some ass and go on vacation. The world can wait." Erin took a deep breath. "You say the sweetest things."

THE END

By Erin and Michael on 16/07/09.

Fiction

2009-07-13T21:35:00.001-06:00

His tie feels too tight today. His new shoes pinch his left ankle. He catches the elevator and wedges himself in with the other pinching ties and tight shoes. Everyone’s eyes are on the numbers lighting up in their proper order. Someone next to him coughs. His stomach flips as the elevator stops on his floor. He steps out sideways and his feet take him to the office at the end of the hall.

Auto-pilot engaged, his feet take him through the door, past the secretaries, printers and the ringing phones to through the break room. His hands grab, pour and mix. Coffee in one hand, briefcase in the other he turns right at the copier. His elbow pushes the second door on the right and his foot closes it behind him. The briefcase finds its place on a chair in the corner of the room next to an artificial tree. He takes his place at his monstrous desk, the leather chair creaks under his weight. Its surface is chilly. He shivers. The computer snaps on with an inane little chorus of digital notes. He sits back listening to the hum of the heater overhead and warms his hands around the little paper cup filled with burnt coffee.

Numbers, lunch, then more numbers.

The neat columns of numbers blur before his eyes. He cracks his knuckles and rolls his shoulders. Eyes focus. The buzz of the fluorescent light above has replaced the muffled din of activity behind his closed door. A ray of orange light works its way through the blinds to form a rectangle on the wall. He stands. His body is stiff and his wrists sore form hours of punching in numbers. Three steps and he’s at the window. He pulls the sickly little white cord and the city is revealed behind plastic slats. Through a narrow canyon in the surrounding buildings he can see the setting sun paint the smog filled air rich shades of red, orange and yellow.

The clock tells him it’s 5:45.

His feet take him back to his desk, his fingers find their keys and his works continues itself. Just a little bit more, then I’ll go home. Gotta get a jump on this.

The keys click smoothly, the columns of numbers have produced smaller columns, stacked upon themselves. Streams of numbers boast proudly of revenue. More numbers.

His ears tell him that the pile of papers to his left is rustling. His brain tells him that’s not logical. His peripheral vision tells him the pile of papers is moving. His fingers keep typing. The click of the keys are footsteps on the sidewalk. His ears tell him there is another rustle of papers and a wet thud on the desk. His eyes slide toward the source of this distraction— away from the screen to the base of the pile of papers.

A slick, lime green frog sits looking up at the rows of numbers with black, glassy eyes. Its profile undulated at its throat.

Fingers are still typing. Eyes try to tell brain that there is a frog on his desk. Brain tells eyes that there is no frog there. Eyes double-checking, blink twice and the little creature just sits there, its throat rippling up and down. Fingers are still typing and numbers are still forming their tidy columns on the screen. Fingers want to reach out and touch the little frog, its glossy skin is reflecting the sickly light of the room. Brain keeps the fingers typing the numbers.

Now, ears tell brain that the frog has just made a small, prickly, croaking noise. Fingers hesitate, eyes widen for an instant and mouth is awakened with a quick, shocked smile. Head and neck turn to face the tiny technicolor amphibian. Shoulders follow along with torso, waist and finally, at long last, hands and fingers. Brain shouts at body. Body looks at frog. Frog sits and breathes.
The chair creaks as body turns to face the frog. The frog’s black eyes turn to face him. His finger reaches out slowly wanting to touch the frog. The frog hops a little back toward the stack of papers. His finger is close enough to touch. Finger hesitates. The frog hesitates and turns awkwardly to face him.

His finger meets the frog’s skin between its eyes. Its skin cold and covered in tiny bumps. It is slightly wet, but sticky as if it was getting too dry. Eyes look at the screen and at the numbers then back at the frog. Where his finger had touched the creature is a red fingerprint. The frog’s throat is pulsing more quickly now. The fingerprint fills with more red to make a solid ellipse. The frog’s left leg twitches, its right leg does the same. At the base of the spot, a line begins to form—neon red, it moves down the little frog’s back. It glows in strangely familiar way. Its left leg moves to the left, the right leg moves to the right. Its hind legs press against the surface of the desk.

The line begins to weep red fluid down the sides of the frog. The fluid patters on the desk and lands in tiny pools. The left side of the frog is struggling to move to the left as the right fights to go right. The line grows and the fluid seeps out with more quickly. The pools grow and ripple toward the keyboard and the stack of papers. The frog’s hind legs are tensing and pressing against the desk underneath the red pools.

Ears hear tearing. The frog tenses its hind legs push off from the desk, and it leaps into the air. The left side goes left and the right side goes right. There is a thump and the two halves of the frog land in front of him, pink innards spilling on his papers and pens.
His body jerks sending lightning bolts of pain through his neck. His feet kick under the desk and his eyes try to focus. The animated screen saver is playing on the monitor. He stands, disoriented and shaky.

The clock tells him that it is 10:54 pm. There is no frog.

Feet move to the chair in the corner. Hand picks up briefcase. Feet take him out of the room and auto-pilot is set for home.

Wild Hare Projects

2009-07-02T17:39:00.003-06:00

I've often wondered (aloud) whether the term: "Had a wild hare up my butt" was hare or hair. It just occurred to me to look it up. I did and this is what I found:

"It's actually 'had a wild hare', as in a rabbit.

It's an American expression meaning to do something at the spur of the moment without really thinking, spontaneity. It originated from "had a wild hare up my '. If you had a wild rabbit in your backside... you'd probably jump without thinking. It most likely originated in the Mid-West where hare were commoner'n a fly on a horses' .. (and so was vulgar language). But as it was shaved down, it can now be used as "I had a wild hare to go to Vegas'."

Now I know and not a moment too soon.

One of the side effects of being happy again is that my creativity and shall we say, whimsy, has come back with gusto! I'm enjoying it very much. I've been having lots of little wild hares to do random things, like my day of pictures project. Last week I painted some rocks and then wrote happy little sayings on them and left them where people would find them (as inspired by this website). I neglected to get any photos of those, sorry. And today another idea struck me. But I can't tell you what it is yet, because some people who might read this are a part of it, though they don't know that.

So, I've dubbed these little bouts of whimsy my Wild Hare Projects. I like it. It's good.

The Dead

2009-07-01T19:47:00.005-06:00

I don’t know what it is, something in my subconscious I suppose, that produces these annual epic dreams about you. Dreams that are fused on every level with a love so intense that the residue clings to my waking mood, bitter sweet like a childhood memory.

In my dreams you are great, a success on every level. A Nobel Prize winner, a professor, a scientist, a fighter pilot the winning contestant on Jeopardy and I am watching with the rest of the crowd. But instead of wanting to exploit you, instead of wanting to gain prestige by being in your presence, instead of hoping for financial gain or notoriety by being in your circle, I want to protect you.

Your body is covered with ritual scars, the scars of an ancient warrior. One moment you are tall and bearded and wearing the furs of a Russian Czar, another you are shaved and dressed for warm weather, the scars on your collar bone exposed just a little. Then you are broken, and unable to walk, covered with cuts from a knife and I help you into bed. I nurse you and all the while there is love until I awake and remember.

Then the need to write it all down. The warm feeling buzzing around in my chest, the words taking shape in my mind, the intense need to capture that dream feeling. The pleasure of words, strung together just so. And the emptiness when I’ve exhausted my inspiration and the love from the dream world is gone.

You've been gone for six years.

Happy Sleepy Post

2009-06-25T21:21:00.004-06:00

I'm happy. I'm sleepy. I've got a gooey chocolate roly-poly brain. I'm content to sit and look. I'm warm enough and cool enough. I'm quenched and sated and slackadasical. Life is good.

Rewind. No Editing Allowed.

2009-06-23T21:22:00.006-06:00

I just spent the better part of an hour reading some of my old blog posts. First I'd like to say to myself (in that way that I sometimes do): "Self, you are too hard on yourself-- er us-- um me? Anyway quit it. Your blogging is just fine. Though we could lay off the memes and quizzes because that's what facebook is for nowadays. Right?"

Second, I have to admit that it was very very very tempting to remove any post that mentions the ex. Well one ex. The "T" word. But I won't. It's a part of my past-- he's a part of my past. Big emphasis on past. It sucked. It's over. Next.

And I also noticed that any time I quoted Neruda, it coincided with me being int he depths of despair. Interesting. The only Neruda poems I've been moved to quote lately are the delightfully dirty and sensual ones. And, Ode to An Artichoke since they are in season. Heh.

Right. Next.

Snippet from today:

Me: How long is this seminar supposed to be anyway?
Boss Man: Three hours.
Me: Nu-uh.
Boss Man: Yes. I intend to talk at them for three hours and bore them all to sleep.
Me: Then we could whack them over the head and sell their organs.
Boss Man: I knew you were the perfect assistant.

Notes to Strangers

2009-06-19T18:51:00.004-06:00

I collect people in my head-- not the made-up variety (actually I collect those too). The people who these notes are for are real people- complete strangers who made an impression on me in some way. They will probably never read this, but that's not the point.

To the teenage girl with pink hair who was dancing down the sidewalk: You made me smile and remember when I used to do the same thing. Though mine was a walkman not an ipod. You helped me remember not to be too serious and not to be such a grown-up. Thanks.

To the guy in the car at the gas station with your hair sticking up all over the place: You smiled at me with just unabashed joy that I thought that I must know you from somewhere. I did a double take and didn't know you. So, you were either my best friend from childhood who had undergone extreme plastic surgery to hide your identity or you were just being nice. Thank you for that smile.

To the homeless guy holding the sign that read, "Ugly and broke": You aren't ugly.

To the elderly woman sitting alone at a restaurant looking out the window: I wanted to sit with you and talk to you. I wanted to give you some company and hear your stories. I'm sorry I didn't.

To the woman sitting in the car waiting for someone at the drug store: You looked so hot and miserable, yet when you smiled back at me your whole faced changed. You are lovely, you should smile more.

To the man in the business suit driving the BMW who yelled at me in traffic for no good reason: I hope you got to where you were going in time. You're an asshole.

To the father who I see taking his little girl for a walk every day: She will remember that and love you for it. Keep it up.

Yesterday

2009-06-19T07:13:00.003-06:00

Only $19.99 Plus Shipping and Handling!

2008-08-08T20:52:00.003-06:00

I was talking to my assistant at work the other day. I was telling her about caffeine withdrawal and how it makes your brain expand. She wondered if that was what caused all head aches. So we googled it. I found the informative page shown below. Then hilarity ensued. At least for me.

Yes, you can get your own brain cancer and it's on sale! WTF?

Flip-Flop Fatality

2008-07-07T19:11:00.003-06:00

Oh the horror!!! Two pairs of my most loyal and trusted flip-flops have gone the way of the dodo within days of each other. I'm down to the pair that hurt the sides of my feet. Nooooooooooooo!!!!!

Temporal Difficulties

2008-06-27T20:56:00.003-06:00

I seem to have a leak or something in my space-time continuum. I mean, I just blogged-- well I thought I just blogged and come to find out that was a week ago. It's Friday already. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but what the hell? Who hit the fast forward button? There must be some explanation. Could be that there is a race of Time Eaters in orbit around earth and they are sending down their time sucking tubes that eat up all the seconds and minutes and days... Or I could just be watching too much Dr. Who.

Wackiness

2008-06-20T17:38:00.003-06:00

So I got off work early today. I could be doing a number of constructive things. Instead I give you this:

1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:

Auntie Erin needs a drink. (heh)

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:

Erin looks like Harry Potter on drugs. (heh heh)

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search"

Erin does not live here any more. (hmm)

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:

Erin hates plastic rose petals. (quite true)

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search:

Erin goes blue.

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:

Erin loves to be tickle tortured. (um...mostly not)

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:

Erin Eats

8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:

Erin has the hiccups AGAIN. (not at the mo)

9: Type in "[your name] died" in Google Search:

(owie)

10: Type in "[your name] will" in Google search:

Erin will vote 4 the constitution. (good to know)

That was time well spent...

It Could Be the Tuba

2008-06-18T23:11:00.002-06:00

This video makes me inexplicably happy.

Almost Two

2008-06-11T21:37:00.004-06:00

I think this is the best photograph ever. I may be biased. They are my nephews.

Analogy

2008-06-09T19:42:00.003-06:00

Let's say that I'm a runner. Let's pretend that I love to run more than anything in the world. Let's say that in the past I would run six miles a day. Let's say that my muscles were fit and toned; conditioned to carry me swiftly through neighborhoods and across town and back. Then let's suppose that one day I stopped running and decided to sit all the time. Sure, I missed running. And yes, I felt guilty about not doing it anymore. But every day that passed made it that much more difficult to start running again. My muscles grew weaker, and all melty and they forgot what they were supposed to do when anything but sitting occurred. So, instead of running again or even walking I began to sit more and more and more. Until my ass grew into the couch and it was impossible to get up at all. Ass and sofa became fused like a CD case and a dashboard at noon in the middle of July. Not a pretty picture. This cannot do.

After the surgery to remove said sofa, I've decided to start running again. I'll start with baby steps. I'll walk to the end of the block and back. Before I know it I'll be back to my old self again. My atrophied muscles will eventually relax and remember what they were meant to do.

Too bad I'm not a runner. Too bad I'm an asthmatic writer. Writing... see? Baby steps.

Where Have All The Lighters Gone?

2008-06-08T00:18:00.002-06:00

Where have all the lighters gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the lighters gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the lighters gone?
Trolls have pinched them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Again With The Laughing

2008-05-14T20:58:00.002-06:00

If This Doesn't Make You Laugh, You Might Be Broken

2008-05-01T19:59:00.001-06:00

For My Dad on His Birthday

2008-04-23T17:57:00.005-06:00

When I was in kindergarten, my dad came to pick me up one day. He visited my empty class room and he met my teacher. I remember looking up at him and seeing sunlight filter through his hair as he smiled and spoke with my teacher. I remember looking up at him and feeling an overwhelming sense of pride. This titan was my father. He could do anything. Inwardly I brimmed with happiness and love. As we walked out to the car, I held his hand tightly taking three steps for every one step he took.

Now that I can match his stride I still feel that overwhelming sense of pride that this man is my father. When we go to the comic book store or eat in a Japanese restaurant, I still brim with happiness and love. He instilled in me a great love of books and music, and taught me to think critically and he taught me to look at the world with wit and humor. For this and a myriad of other things I will always be grateful to him.

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you very much.

Color Swap Booty!

2008-04-17T20:17:00.002-06:00

I came home after a loooooooong day and was pleasantly surprised to to find a BIG package leaning up against my front door. First, I'd like to say WOW! Thanks Panj! I am so happy and feel so spoiled.

Panj was such a great secret pal. She sent me so many cute and cheerful eCards that made me smile. She is such a thoughtful, wonderful person and I was very lucky to get her as a pal. So, Panj you are a sweetheart! Thank you sooooooo much!

Now...LOOT!!!

It's so hard to choose a favorite out of all this wonderful stuff. I love that she sent a post card from her neck of the woods. I love that she made me a very pretty pot holder! I love everything. Yay!

I'm an Auntie...

2008-04-17T19:08:00.005-06:00

My little sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy today! I'm so happy and so relieved. Momma and baby are doing great! Yay I'm and auntie... again... YAY!

Welcome to the world, little Camden!

Snot Induced Silliness

2008-04-14T20:20:00.003-06:00

I have a cold. It's not too terrible. There's just lots of snot. Aren't you glad you know that now?

Here's a meme. It's very silly.

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (Mother and Father's middle name): Kathleen Leonard

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad): Darrell William

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Puler

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal!): Blue Jaguar

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Maree Salt Lake City

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Red Dr. Pepper

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 3 letters of your last name): Erher

8. GANGSTA NAME: ( fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Cherry Garcia Milano

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name): None San Francisco

10. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy): Water Goddess Jr. Mint

11. PORN NAME: (1st pets name, street you grew up on): Dinah Elizabeth

Nephews, Zombies and Bowling for Kids!

2008-04-11T22:13:00.005-06:00

My dad is in town for a visit which is quite nice. He's here for a month so we get to spend lots of time with him. He came over to my tiny house for dinner (yay sushi!) as did my seester and the twins. Now, my house isn't completely baby proof. Perhaps it would be baby as in one proof, but not twin proof. So I began doing my best to distract them so my dad and my sister could eat. They became bored pretty quickly so I brought out the big guns:

Cheden liked the crawling zombie...

...and the severed arm. Phoenix wasn't so sure about them.

Phoenix did however, like the sushi.

Ahhh they are truly my nephews!

Cheden really liked the zombie.

He liked it so much he kept giving it kisses.

My friend Gail is bowing for kids next weekend. This is what she has to say about that:

"Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northern New Mexico's largest fundraiser, Bowl for Kids' Sake is here! I am participating in this fun event to help raise money for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northern New Mexico. My personal goal is $125.00. Big Brothers Big Sisters does great work in providing children with positive adult role models. Your role in this effort to help at-risk youth cannot be overstated: making our community aware of the challenges and asking for their support is what Bowling for Kids' Sake is all about.

There are currently 70+ children on a waiting list to be matched with a Big Brother or Big Sister. 50 of them are boys and that number continues to rise. That means, if a boy walked in today wanting to be matched with a Big Brother, he would have to wait at least a year before be could be matched. You can help me share a little magic with a child by providing a donation to support the work of Big Brothers Big Sisters. That way, children don't have to wait on a list for a year to become matched with a Big Brother or Big Sister. Please help me help them. It’s easy. Just email me back the amount and you will be billed later. Otherwise, you can give me cash or a check, or go on-line to www.bbbsnorthernm.org/bfks and pay with a credit card.

Thanks for your support.

Gail"

I'm going to give her some money. You should too!

Joy

2008-04-09T21:50:00.004-06:00

Ah the joys of watching of twin boys. Twin boys who will be two years old in June. Twin boys who are the most adorable little bundles of love and who have begun to call me Ree. They can't quite say, Erin. I'm very happy with Ree. They point to me and say, "Ree!" and give me shy little kisses. And then one of them peed on my foot. Luckily it was only the one foot this time. And it's a good thing I was in my socks otherwise I would have had to get another new pair of shoes. And too bad I was in my socks, it was a very icky sensation, at least the shoes saved me that part.

Treasure Map

2008-04-07T19:31:00.006-06:00

Thousand-Hand Guan Yin

2008-03-28T22:55:00.006-06:00

This performance by the China Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe is wonderful. This dance is called "Buda with thousand hands". It is performed by a group of dancers who can not hear or speak. Enjoy!

Here's a news story about them too.

Spring Cleaning

2008-03-24T22:25:00.007-06:00

There have been so many changes going on in my life in this past month. Some of them are good changes, some of them are not so good and some of them are not so good with the potential to turn out good. Ah, was that cryptic enough for you?

Some of the good changes are, I got my hair done. This may not seem like such a big deal to some. But I had "let myself go" over the past year and a half. So, I went to a real (spendy) stylist and got my hair done. I love it. I love my new stylist, he's brilliant and we got along splendidly. Which was a good thing since it took him three and a half hours to do my hair. I felt better almost immediately after having it done. I know it's cliché and all that, but who cares? Not me.

I cleaned my house from top to bottom. If you've ever seen my tiny house, you might be shocked to find out that I spent all day this Saturday cleaning it. Hell, I was shocked. But there were lots of cobwebs and dust bunnies to battle-- even a black widow and another very aggressive spider whose identity eluded me even after extensive googling. My best guess, judging from its markings is that it was a Hobo spider. But I'm not even sure about that since they are not common in this area. So, who knows? I ended up flushing the poor thing down the toilet just in case. Anyways, now my house is very clean and I've vowed to keep it that way.

Another change that I was really nervous about is that I started GMing for my gaming group. And I must say, WOW! It is so much fun! We are playing Serenity, which is an RPG based on the TV show, Firefly and the movie based on the TV show, Serenity. I figured that this would be a good first game for me to run since I'm a rabid fan of the show and of its creator Joss Whedon. I wrote the first adventure which went of quite well if I do say so myself and tried out a pre-made (which I tweaked to fit our crew and to make a bit more interesting) one-shot story line last time. To make a long story short (too late) I've really enjoyed it. My players keep me on my toes that's for gorramn sure. James always does something unexpected and Nichole figures out the plot way sooner than I expect. I'm loving it.

And last, but not least is the most radical change I've made after a slight health scare about a month ago. I have actually managed to stop my regular consumption of Dr. Pepper and junk food and have changed my eating habits to a much more healthy, vegetable rich diet. As a result, I have gone down two belt notches in about a month. I feel better and I like to imagine that I look better too. The next step is to get back to a normal exercise routine. This will be more difficult since I have limited free time lately.

The other changes that have happened make me cry and mope sometimes. But as things progress, maybe these changes are for the best. And maybe they aren't so bad after all. Life has some pretty interesting ways of working itself out. Again, with the cryptic. Haha!

Seesters

2008-03-23T00:38:00.003-06:00

Favorite Color Swap 3

2008-03-16T09:46:00.008-06:00

Here we go again! I'm very excited. This will be my 3rd Favorite color swap, but it will be my first as a knitter. Yay!

Favorite Color Swap 3 Questionnaire

1. What are your top three favorite colors?
I love robin egg blue. I've been into creamy off white vintage looking colors lately too.
2. What crafts do you really enjoy?
Knitting, Sewing, Making Belly Dance costumes, I'm learning to crochet too so add that to the list.
3. What products do you really covet?
Cowrie shells(or any cool sew-on-able shells), These little heart-shaped things, bamboo knitting needles in all sizes, nice fake flowers, malabrigo Aquarella yarn or some similar type of yarn. I also have a thing for big FAT yarn. Oh and office supplies like good pens and folders and binders.
4. What other activities do you enjoy besides your favorite crafty things?
Reading and listening to books, playing video games, Belly Dancing, listening to music, writing, Gaming (RPGs).
5. Is there anything you collect?
Maneki Neko and skeletons or skulls-- especially Dio de Los Muertos stuff
6. What is your zodiac sign and/or Chinese zodiac symbol?
I'm a Capricorn/born in the year of the Rabbit.
7.What are your favorite…

…scents/smells?
Vanilla, honeysuckle, lilac. Nothing minty it makes me gag.
…types of music and/or bands?
Gogol Bordello, Balkan Beat Box, Beats Antique, weird experimentalist belly dance music, and classical.
…authors?
Neil Gaiman, William Gibson, Pablo Neruda, Isabel Allende,
…animals?
Cats (even though I'm allergic), koi fish
…places to shop?
Ebay, Etsy, Target, Hobby Lobby, Michael's Arts & Crafts and random people on Tribe.
…season?
Summer
…yarn/fabric/paper/other craft supplies?
Malabrigo (what can I say, my knitting Yoda started that). I love really fat yarn and uneven yarn, textiles from India.
…candies or goodies?
Dark chocolate, Jr. Mints, Marzipan
8. Do you have any wish lists?
I have an Amazon wishlist.
9. Are you allergic to anything?
Anything furry, cats and dogs mostly.
10. Do you have any pets? What are they?
Nope. I have a screen saver that looks like a fish tank though.
11. Please include anything else you would like your secret pal to know about you- anything that would be helpful in finding you little gifts that you will really enjoy. Also, if you have a Ravelry ID, please include it here. No Ravelry for me yet. In the past, I have really enjoyed when people send me things from their region, it's fun. If you haven't guessed by the title of this blog I'm a big old Nerd. I love Star Wars and anything to do with Zombies or Pirates. Oh and I love striped socks.

Yay.

Test Thing

2008-03-15T14:26:00.005-06:00

I saw this on Tribe. Who knows if it is really a Dr. Phil thing, but who cares? I'm doing my best to stay occupied. I got a 46. It seems accurate I guess. But it's supposed to tell you how other people see you. And well, I don't think I I have a very good perspective on that. I guess need to work on my astral projection or start working on that whole cloning thing again.

What did you get?

Below is Dr. Phil's test . (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!

The person who posted it placed their score in the subject box. Make sure to post this in your blog and change the subject of the post to read YOUR total when you have finished.

It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each question. Answers are for who you are now --- not who you were in the past. Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer.

Ready??

Begin.

1. When do you feel your best?

A) in the morning
B) during the afternoon and early evening
C) late at night

2. You usually walk...

A) fairly fast, with long steps
B) fairly fast, with little steps
C) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
D) less fast, head down
E) very slowly

3. When talking to people you. .

A) stand with your arms folded
B) have your hands clasped
C) have one or both your hands on your hips
D) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
E) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with.

A) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
B) your legs crossed
C) your legs stretched out or straight
D) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...

A) big appreciated laugh
B) a laugh, but not a loud one
C) a quiet chuckle
D) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...

A) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
B) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
C) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted..

A) welcome the break
B) feel extremely irritated
C) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?

A) Red or orange
B) black
C) yellow or light blue
D) green
E) dark blue or purple
F) white
G) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...

A) stretched out on your back
B) stretched out face down on your stomach
C) on your side, slightly curled
D) with your head on one arm
E) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...

A) falling
B) fighting or struggling
C) searching for something or somebody
D) flying or floating
E) you usually have dreamless sleep
F) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:

> 1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
> 2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c ) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
> 3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
> 4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
> 5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
> 6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
> 7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
> 8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
> 9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
> 10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should 'handle with care.' You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you’re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Yep

2008-03-11T22:54:00.002-06:00

Better Than Nothing

2008-03-09T17:33:00.004-06:00

I'm having a rough time right now. And rather than blog about the roughness here's a meme. I saw this one on Nichole's blog. I wasn't tagged. In fact I don't think that I've ever officially been tagged for a meme. I'm just a meme poser I suppose. But I am weird. I might have done this one before, but I couldn't find it. Oh well.

THE RULES:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post THE RULES on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

1. I don't like caramel. This might not seem so weird, however everyone I know likes it so, by not liking it I am weird. Or different. Or something.

2. Marching bands make me cry.

3. I like to do experiments on people. Like looking up at nothing just to see who else will look.

4. I am very protective of my books. I try never to crack a spine and will only loan them to people I trust. I do have second copies of some of my favorite books for the sole purpose of loaning to people.

5. I love broccoli. A lot.

6. I get great satisfaction out of emptying the dryer lint thingy.

7. No matter how hard I try I can never ever spell "received" correctly. Thank the gods for spell-check.

I didn't tag anyone. Maybe that's why I don't get tagged. So if you read this blog and you haven't done this meme, do it. Or your body parts will start falling off.

When All Else Fails Quote Neruda

2008-03-03T21:28:00.001-07:00

ODE TO BROKEN THINGS

Things get broken
at home
like they were pushed
by an invisible, deliberate smasher.
It's not my hands
or yours
It wasn't the girls
with their hard fingernails
or the motion of the planet.
It wasn't anything or anybody
It wasn't the wind
It wasn't the orange-colored noontime
Or night over the earth
It wasn't even the nose or the elbow
Or the hips getting bigger
or the ankle
or the air.
The plate broke, the lamp fell
All the flower pots tumbled over
one by one. That pot
which overflowed with scarlet
in the middle of October,
it got tired from all the violets
and another empty one
rolled round and round and round
all through winter
until it was only the powder
of a flowerpot,
a broken memory, shining dust.
And that clock
whose sound
was
the voice of our lives,
the secret
thread of our weeks,
which released
one by one, so many hours
for honey and silence
for so many births and jobs,
that clock also
fell
and its delicate blue guts
vibrated
among the broken glass
its wide heart
unsprung.
Life goes on grinding up
glass, wearing out clothes
making fragments
breaking down
forms
and what lasts through time
is like an island on a ship in the sea,
perishable
surrounded by dangerous fragility
by merciless waters and threats.
Let's put all our treasures together
-- the clocks, plates, cups cracked by the cold --
into a sack and carry them
to the sea
and let our possessions sink
into one alarming breaker
that sounds like a river.
May whatever breaks
be reconstructed by the sea
with the long labor of its tides.
So many useless things
which nobody broke
but which got broken anyway.

-Pablo Neruda

SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

2008-02-21T17:28:00.001-07:00

I just peed my pants.

Slippery Face of the Earth

2008-02-20T21:04:00.003-07:00

Oopsie. Looks like I fell off the face of the earth again. Sorry 'bout that.

Let's see, well here's a quick outline of what I've been up to:

Got sick again. I was "well" for a few days and then the nasty virus flu thingy hit me over the head with a cast iron skillet. All in all I missed almost two weeks of work.
Got fingerprinted for work. They don't use black ink anymore because it makes your fingers all black and smudgy. They now use "inkless" ink which makes your fingers all red and smudgy.
Phoenix got very, very sick and was in the hospital for a few days. He's better now. So much better in fact that he got great amusement out of peeing on my shoes.
Went to Las Vegas for a conference with my boss. I was on a panel in front of a couple hundered people. I was very nervous so Spaz Girl took over for a while and I had trouble finishing sentences. But we stayed at the Bellagio so it evened out.
Haven't belly danced in a really, really long time and it makes me sad.

There, that's what's been going on with me. How about you?

Forget About It

2008-01-27T00:14:00.001-07:00

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a story idea. Not just an idea but two characters and a scene complete with dialog. I thought that I should get up and write it all down. I thought very hard about doing that until I fell back to sleep. I can't remember it now. Shucks.

I`ve Been Busy Bein' Sea Sick

2008-01-25T21:41:00.002-07:00

`Tis completely Nichole`s fault if ye canna understand most o' this blog. She posted a link t' this gentleman o' fortune translator an' I got t' thinkin' that 't would be neat if I translated me entire blog entry into gentleman o' fortune speak. Consider yersef warned.

I came down wi' th' nasty flu bug that be goin' around an' got knocked on me arse fer a wee days. 't wasn`t at all pleasant. Now I be goin' all stir crazy an' feel like whinin' about 't. But I won`t

Me hade be fixed. Mostly. 't still runs constantly but at least 't dasn't overflow. An' at least I dasn't be havin' t' keep turnin' th' water on an' off an' on an' off whenere I need t' pee.

Nay much else t' report here.

I figured ou' why I be feelin' weird. I haven`t danced in three whole tides. `Tis makin' me a bit crazy. We be goin' t' start dancin' only once a moon now. `Tis better than nothin' I suppose.

Since I`ve been sea sick I`ve been layin' around an' nay doin' much o' anythin'. Tho I be shocked an' saddened t' reckon that I mostly lay around an' do nothin'. Waitin'. Waitin' fer somethin' t' happen. I be nay sure 'tis goin' t' happen at all-- whatere'tis that I be waitin' fer. I need t' figure ou' how t' avast bein' pathetic an' avast waitin'.

I hope that once I translate this blog into gentleman o' fortune speak that 't be less sad an' weepy.

If ye couldna understand anythin' I`ve spake, go an' blame Nichole on th' lass' blog called Savin' Nine.

If ye want t' be seein' if perhaps Dave has posted a new blog, or if th' 1-900 Nerd Lasses video be still at th' top go an' check ou' his blog called A Slice o' Fried Dubloon.

And tho 't seems almost sacrilegious t' post this knowin' that 't be translated t' sea dog talk, 't might also be amusin' too. So, what th' hell? Here`s a poem called Loaded t' th' gunwhales as Loaded t' th' gunwhales written by Sea dog Pablo Neruda. Ye be havin' t' love th' lad's.

Loaded t' th' gunwhales as loaded t' th' gunwhales on turpentine
From yer open kisses,
Yer wet body wedged
Between me wet body an' th' strake
O' our boat that be made o' flowers,
Feasted, we guide 't - our fingers
Like tallows adorned wi' yellow metal -
O'er th' sky`s hot rim,
Th' tide`s last breath in our sails.

Pinned by th' sun between solstice
An' equinox, drowsy an' tangled together
We drifted fer moons an' woke
Wi' th' bitter taste o' land on our lips,
Eyelids all sticky, an' we longed fer lime
An' th' sound o' a rope
Lowerin' a bucket down its well. Then,
We came by night t' th' Fortunate Isles,
An' lay like fish
Under th' net o' our kisses.

Weird...

2008-01-17T22:26:00.002-07:00

Well, if I blog about my toilet for a third day in a row that would just be sad and pathetic. So, I'll just say that it isn't fixed yet.

I've decided to take part in Thing-A-Day which is something like NaBloPoMo but for us crafty sorts. You are supposed to make something every day for the month of February. So I'm going to give it a shot. We shall see what happens.

I feel weird. I can't really describe it. I can say what it's not. It's not physical. It's not stress or depression or even boredom. I'm not sure. It's weird. And it's not entirely good. Hm.

Help!

2008-01-16T21:59:00.001-07:00

Okay, someone out there in blogland has to know how to fix my toilet. My stupid landlord didn't. it's still broken. It's still a huge hassle to make potty.

Here's what happens-- once flushed, the water starts to fill up the tank. That black rubber float thingy goes up with the water level. Where it's supposed to turn off the water, it doesn't. Then the water pours out the hole where the flushy handle thing is and if left too long, comes out between the lid to the tank. Then it puts water everywhere and makes me have to clean it up. Again.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!

I know one of you out there can tell me how to fix this damned thing. I know it.

Adventures With the Naughty Potty and Other News

2008-01-15T20:17:00.001-07:00

Wow, I really didn't alst long on the whole resolution gig did I? Well, here I am starting over. Back on the Dr. pepper wagon, and back to trying to blog every day. Thank you for all the nice notes that reminded me that I really should blog and that when I don't it tends to make some people sad. So, don't be sad. I'm blogging. Yep.

My toilet decided to break a few days ago. Luckily it was in a way that flooded my bathroom with nice clean water and not the other variety. I had to keep the water turned off in between uses and it was a huge ordeal to take a leak. Or leave a leak-- that euphemism never made sense to me. Anyway, it was a huge ordeal to pee. There.

I let my landlord know that she needed to come and fix the damned thing post haste and she blew me off for a day and a half. But now it's fixed (mostly) and doesn't leak all over the place.

Wasn't that a fascinating story?

I had an interesting (though short lived) debate on one of my Zombie forums on Tribe the other day. Someone posted a link to this article which counted Frankenstein as a zombie. I argued that he wasn't. Apparently this is a huge debate in zombie circles. It was very interesting. You can read the thread here. I think I won.

What do you think? Was Frankenstein a zombie?

Gail's brother needs your help! The documentary he made called Mexiphobia didn't make it into the cinequest film festival but only by a narrow margin. It was, however, selected for an on-line viewers' choice award. The winning film gets to be part of the festival. Go here to vote for his movie. You have to download the film to vote. DO IT! Do it noooooow. Thanks!

Voices in My Head

2008-01-09T20:44:00.001-07:00

If you've ever been addicted to anything, you'll be familiar with the arguments you have with yourself when craving said addiction and trying not to give in. In my case, it's the daily Dr. Pepper battle.

Today:

"Wow, I haven't had a Dr. Pepper all day. Good for me I deserve a reward...like a Dr. Pepper"

Snow Cake

2008-01-08T22:53:00.001-07:00

I just finished watching a movie called Snow Cake. It was really well done and I highly recommend it. Don't read the synopsis, just watch it.

I'm quietly inspired now. So I'm not going to waste that typing here. I'm going to save it up for the new story that's begun to percolate in my head.

My Goal

2008-01-07T22:09:00.001-07:00

I was there once, I can do it again. And on that note I've had only two cans of Dr. Pepper in the last three days. I'm on the right track. meep.

Slackadaisical

2008-01-06T22:43:00.001-07:00

Wow, do I know how to get my slack on or what? I have spent a mostly nonproductive day mostly on the couch and mostly watching season seven of the Gilmore Girls. In between all the sitting on my ass, I had a lovely brunch with the boyfriend, bought some groceries and played some PS3. I needed a day like this. My batteries are recharged, I'm ready for my first full week back at work after the holidays. Too bad I have to get up so early.

Well, I'm closing in on the end of the Gilmore Girls so I'd better get back at it if I want to finish tonight.

To Blog or Not to Blog?

2008-01-05T23:13:00.001-07:00

So as you might have read a fews posts ago, one of my resolutions this year is to blog every day. So far so good. But what I'm wondering is, is just blogging for the sake of blogging really what I'm shooting for here? I mean if I only blog because I'm thinking to myself, "Self, you need to blog because you said you would" is that productive or meaningful or whatever?

Then I ask myself, "Self, why do you even blog to begin with? It's not changing the world or really all that productive all the time. Sure it makes people laugh sometimes and that's good..."

I might reply to myself, "Self, stop being so negative. You blog to keep your writing muscles from atrophying. You blog because you really like going back a year or so to see what you were up to at that time and it helps to put things into perspective. You also blog to keep certain friends and family updated on your life and to make them scratch their heads and wonder if insanity runs in the family. And who says that blogs have to be meaningful? Waffling on an on about socks or cheese is better than not writing at all. Oh, sock cheese that's gross. Though I've heard that you can actually make cheese with a sock and yogurt. Wait, maybe that was a pair of pantyhose and yogurt- "

"Stay on target here, Self"

"Oh, sorry. Where was I?"

"Waffling."

"Oh yes..."

So I suppose, depending on which Self wins the argument will provide the answer. And, in asking these questions of myself I ended up blogging anyway.

Now I'm confused.

Best Birthday Ever!

2008-01-04T23:16:00.001-07:00

I just had the most wonderful birthday. I would just like to say that I have the best boyfriend in the world, the best friends in the world and the best family in the world. Thank you so much for spoiling me completely! Thank you for a lovely dinner! Thank you for my wonderful, thoughtful and delightful gifts. Thank you for making my birthday the best ever!

I need to sleep now. I'm completely exhausted from all the smiling and giggling and getting sappy and crying. I need my beauty sleep so I can spend some quality time with my new PS3!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winter Blues

2008-01-03T21:02:00.001-07:00

Well, it was another fun-filled Thursday night at the Pyramid. I don't think it's humanly possible to add enough sarcasm to that statement to convey to you, dear readers how un-fun it was tonight. Nope.

Maybe it's because it's the dead of winter, maybe it's because Santa Fe is a fickle town full of flakes or maybe we've worn out our welcome at the place but yet again we had an audience that sucked all the energy from the room. What the hell people? Really.

They know we're coming. There are fliers by the door and on every table. There's the whole tell tale sign of us standing there in costume setting up the sound system. So they can't act all shocked and disappointed. There's a whole other room where they could have had their meal if watching belly dancers is such a freaking chore.

Last week, we had a full house of assholes who provided me with the lovely experience of the complete and utter lack of applause after one of my numbers. Nothing. No one applauded. No one. Tonight, it happened again. I know I don't suck that bad. I don't. Really. Do I?

This couldn't have come at a worse time. Just when I'm starting to get inspired to try new things. Just when I found a look that I like and works with the whole being fat thing. Just when I discovered the best new music to dance to.

It's one of the reasons I hate this town. Everyone goes on and on how it's a place for the arts and culture and blah and blah. Well, they are a bunch of whores who wouldn't know art or culture if it was rammed up their tight, rich asses. With no lubricant whatsoever.

They like what they think they are supposed to like. They flock to gallery openings filled with crap art because so and so's friend's cousin who slept with Big Joe Bob the one eyed sculptor who just happens to have spilled his coffee Brad Pit in Borneo took a piss on the side of the building in a drunken stupor so therefore the place is cool and therefore the crap inside is art.

Well screw you Big Joe Bob. Screw you stupid people who ate at the Pyramid tonight.

I suppose I should have titled this blog Winter Venom instead huh?

Happy Birthday Amber!

2008-01-02T21:06:00.001-07:00

When we were little I couldn't understand why, my little sister got to have her birthday first. Considering that our birthdays are two days apart, it made sense (in kid logic) that being older, I should have my birthday first.

These days I don't mind so much at all. Today my baby seester (the mother of twins and brilliant woman) turned 30. Yep. She gets so turn 30 before I turn 32. It works for me.

So, happy birthday sister of mine. You are my inspiration and I am so proud of you. Here's to you kiddo- er I mean woman.

And just to show how much I love you and how far we've come in life, here's the picture of when you peed on Santa for all the world- er I mean for you to see.

Love you sis!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T00:05:00.002-07:00

When I was in Junior High School, one of my favorite movies was Bloodhounds of Broadway. It takes place in the 1920's on New Year's Eve. In the movie when midnight rolls around, a gangster is lying in the back of a limo, bleeding to death from a gunshot wound. His monologue at this point has stuck with me all these years and is something that I always think of on New Year's Eve. He points out that what you are doing at the the strike of midnight on New Year's Eve is a pretty good indicator of what the coming year will hold for you.

At thirteen I had grand dreams of being at an extravagant party drinking champagne with my true love. I imagined that when I was old enough to stay up until midnight that my life would be glamorous and I'd be happy all the time. I also wanted a pink sequined dress with a tulle ruffle around the hem, puffed sleeves and shoulder pads.

So tonight as I puttered around in my PJ's, organizing my DVDs and watching Buffy while I waited for midnight, I couldn't help but be a little superstitious. Will 2008 be a year where I spend my nights alone checking off items on my To Do list? At least I'll be organized.

I did sit down to blog and I did organize my exercise DVDs in an easy to reach spot with the intention of starting a strict routine to get rid of the gut and the blossoming double chin.

The most popular New Year's resolutions are to Quit Smoking and to Loose weight. Quite different from the ancient Babylonians who started the whole resolutions thing back when the new year began in the spring (which makes much more sense than in the dead of winter...silly Romans). The most popular resolution back then was to return farm equipment.

Since I haven't borrowed any farm equipment, I'll go with the following resolutions:

1) Quit Smoking (yeah right)
2) Loose weight. (seriously)
3) Blog every day
4) Do something creative every day
5) Stay organized
6) get out of debt

That's a pretty big order. But I think most of them are pretty doable.

Swamped

2007-12-20T21:44:00.001-07:00

Hi. I'm very busy. I'm trying to do too many things at once. I actually brought my knitting to the Pyramid tonight. It was kind of fun. I wonder if I could belly dance and knit at the same time.

In other news, the boys went to see Santa.

It's Stuck in My Head...

2007-12-16T22:47:00.001-07:00

Now let it be stuck in yours!

Getting The Ol' Butt in Gear!

2007-12-16T11:11:00.001-07:00

You know, that's such a funny saying. If you imagine yourself literally getting your butt in gear...

Anyway. It's Sunday *cheer* and I have a million things to do. Yet it's past eleven and I'm still in jammies with my ass parked at the computer. I need to go. I have things to do!

Yeah. Here I go.

No Time

2007-12-14T21:28:00.001-07:00

Well, I screwed up. I broke the chain of daily blogs. I didn't actually say, "I'm too tired so I'll skip blogging". I just plum forgot. In fact I woke up out of a dead sleep at about 2:30 this morning and realized I'd forgotten. I played with the idea of getting up and blogging right then and changing the time, but I fell asleep while arguing with myself about it. So oh well. 42 blogs in a row isn't too shabby. Let's see how long I can keep it up this time around.

I'm off to see I Am Legend (wiggle! squeak! wiggle!)

So here's a really cool belly dance duet that I found while trying to find a different video. Serendipitous you say? Indeed.

Uncomfortable is an Understatement

2007-12-12T21:40:00.001-07:00

I'd just like to say, for the record, that I completely suck at the whole office party situation. I'm bad at small talk and I giggle when I'm nervous. I attended the home office holiday party in Albuquerque tonight. I followed my boss and coworkers around like a big old puppy dog. I attempted to chat with people I'd never met before and I ate. The food was really good. The rest of it went something like this:

"Oh hello I'm John. I don't believe we've met"
"No we haven't. I'm Ellen's assistant. Nice to meet you."
...insert uncomfortable silence here...
"So how are you enjoying the snow?"
"It's great!" giggle "Well except for the whole driving in it and walking around in it and I almost fell on my butt at the post office this morning because the floor was wet" giggle "and my new snow boots have really bad traction." giggle giggle giggle "Do you have new snow boots? Do they have good gription?"

Bah! I really suck at this kind of stuff. Plus there were all sorts of corporate big wigs there and they make me nervous. Not that they should since I don't work for the corporation, I work for my boss who works for the corporation.

One of said big wigs called me over to introduce himself. I have no idea how he knew who I was. We were talking-- actually he was talking and I was giggling like and idiot, and I noticed that one of his eyes was white. Then came the whole thing where you don't want to stare at it because you don't want to seem rude, but you don't want to not look him in the eye because that's rude too. Ugh, I've never giggled so much in my life while not having any fun at all.

I'm such a spaz.

Sock Monster!!

2007-12-11T21:53:00.002-07:00

Well, I did my first sock monster tonight.
Here he is. His name is Maleficent.

And he has a bum.

Twisty Snowflake

2007-12-10T22:24:00.001-07:00

It snowed a bit. So I made this snowflake. I saw a bunch like it at the Southside Cafe and I liked the way they looked. Good thing you can learn how to do just about anything you want to these days on the internet. Yippie!

...and because it's been a while

Water
Everything on the earth bristled, the bramble
pricked and the green thread
nibbled away, the petal fell, falling
until the only flower was the falling itself.
Water is another matter,
has no direction but its own bright grace,
runs through all imaginable colors,
takes limpid lessons
from stone,
and in those functionings plays out
the unrealized ambitions of the foam.

-Pablo Neruda

No Snow...

2007-12-09T11:47:00.001-07:00

The weather reports were promising tons of snow this weekend. So far, all we've gotten is a lot of gray clouds and some rain. It actually was snowing for about 45 seconds last night. Then it stopped. Sheesh. I mean, they get you all hyped up and then nothing. That's just mean in any situation.

I've got my new snow boots sitting patiently next to the door and everything.

Okay! Let's have some snow now! Get it over with! Please? Hello?

Crafty Goodness

2007-12-08T23:12:00.001-07:00

My sister told me about this website. It's super fun, crafty and free!

I made the anxiety dream theater

There are so many great projects on this site. Try some out!

Also, I saw this on Neil Gaiman's Blog, it's a site called Free Rice. It's a vocabulary test/game. For every answer you get right they donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program. It's really addicting and fun!

I Almost Forgot!

2007-12-07T21:57:00.002-07:00

Here you are ladies and gentlemen! Making it's fantastic one time only appearance after it's recent completion, the one, the only...

THE SEXY FAT SCARF OF LOVE!

..and the crowd goes wild!

High On Life!

2007-12-06T22:21:00.001-07:00

God good I love how utterly corny that saying is. I don't need drugs, I'm high on life! YEAH!

Yep. Here's a new approach:

I love you. Yep. I love you. I think that you are the best. You make the world a better place. Whether I see you once a day, once a week, once a year or even if I've never met you, I love you. I love your guts out. Well, maybe not the guts part. But I do. I want to squeeze you and tell you how fantastic you are. I want to tickle your ribs and make you smile. I love you. You're swell.

My New Favorite Band

2007-12-05T18:53:00.001-07:00

As usual, I'm the last one to discover this. But I've died and gone to heaven. Are you ready for this? Gypsy Punk. No really! Look!! It's Gogol Bordello. I love them.

Pardon me while I go dance on a chair or something...

Gazpacho!

2007-12-04T22:56:00.001-07:00

I'm about to share my family recipe for Gazpacho! with you. You may try it out on one condition. That condition is that if anyone asks what you are making you must say: gaZPACHOOOOOOOO! just like that.

Yes, I'm aware that this is technically a summer dish, but I love it any time of the year. It's quick to make (unless you decide that you need to make a youtube video about it then it takes about three hours) and it's super nummy!

This recipe makes a gallon of gazpacho so feel free to adjust accordingly if you don't need that much.

Wanna Be A Super Hero?

2007-12-02T23:11:00.001-07:00

If you go here you can make yourself into a super hero!

Or a Pirate...

Or a Zombie Hunter...

Or just weird!

It's fun. Try it and post it so I can see too!

Acrostic

2007-12-01T11:20:00.001-07:00

No one seemed to notice, or at least they didn't say anything. I was all tricky with my titles for NaBloPoMo. See?

One For the Road
Two's Company
Three Amigos Get Going
Four Crying Out Loud
A Story About
Because I'm Lame
Complete!!!
Day Off
Eat!!!!!
Four Day Weekend
Great...
Heathers
I Am Beowulf!!!
Just Being Kids
Kinda Lame
Long Day
My Nephews
Nerdeth
Omnifarious Post
Picture
Querulous
Resorting to Memes
She Says
Too Wordy
Undergarment Mutiny
Veal Vendetta
Wowza!
Xanadu. No Rollerskates Required.
Yoda Speak
Zombie

Or did you already notice and not think it was all that tricky? Ahhh.

One For The Road

2007-11-30T21:40:00.002-07:00

Well, folks here we are. This is my last post for NaBloPoMo 2007. Yep. I did it. 30 posts in 30days. What a ride eh? Let's take some time to reflect. Let's wax sentimental for a moment. Good times. Good times.

I feel like I could always post a blog entry every day. All year long. It really wasn't that hard. Not that it was all quality posting. But it was still posting anyway and that's better than nothing.

I seem to recall that I felt the same way last year at the end of NaBloPoMo. Yep. I sure did.

We'll see what happens.

Two's Company

2007-11-29T20:57:00.001-07:00

I feel so lonely. I'm here plugging along at this NaBloPoMo thing while all my friends have since given up. It's like I was furiously running a race only to look around and see that everyone is back down the road, lolling in the grass drinking juice boxes and laughing in the shade. Here's where I pout.

Okay I'm done.

So, I was in the post office today waiting in line. There was this little unkempt woman who was flustering around complaining to herself about someone having changed the lock on her post office box. In the middle of her fumbling and mumbling she dropped some papers. A woman next to her bent down to help pick them up. I saw that there were all sorts of mad scribbles on the pages and figured that she wasn't firing on all pistons if you get my meaning. I was right. The crazy lady screeched at the woman who had attempted to help pick up the papers.
"Don't touch that! Don't touch that! Don't touch that!" yelled the mad woman.
"Sorry," the other woman said, holding her hands up in surrender.
"Didn't you hear me the first time?"the mad woman screeched.
"I'm sorry, I was just trying to help,"the other woman said as she retreated to a safe distance.

Then another woman, sitting next to me decided that she needed to get involved.
"You could have said please," she said giving the mad woman a seriously evil look.
"What?"
"Please,"the woman sitting next to me repeated.
"What?"
"Please."
"I wasn't capable of saying that just then."
"You could have said please. You didn't have to be rude"
"Who do you think you are, Jesus? Are you going to go to someone in a wheelchair and tell them to walk and expect them to get up?"
"Please."
"What?"
"Say please."
"Mind your own damn business."
"Say please."
"I-"
"Say please."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Stop talking to me please."
"Screw you."
"Please."
"Mommy?"

This last bit was said in a creepy little girl voice. Then some guy in the back of the room yelled at them to shut up. They didn't.
"Please."
"You-"
"Please. You need to say please."

Finally the mad woman's number was called and she proceeded to complain that someone had changed the lock on her post office box. The other woman, the one that kept saying please looked at me and said, "Nice lady huh?"

All I wanted to say the whole time was, "Hey, Sybil. Chill!" I didn't of course because it would have made things worse. So I just laughed. It was like something out of an art film.

It's so strange how if you get the right two people together you can get some seriously weird arguments.

Three Amigos Get Going

2007-11-28T22:18:00.002-07:00

I've had a hybrid of the Three Amigos theme song and Billy Ocean's Tough Get Going stuck in my head. It happened at lunch. Both songs have been running though my head all day. It goes something like this:

Fighting for justice and liberty
where ever you find is where we will be
T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tough!
for the three brave amigos are we

When the going gets tough
We are the three Amigos!
The tough get going
Tough, tough, huh, huh, huh
We are the three Amigos!
When the going gets tough, the tough get ready

Yeah, ooooh, du da do da

Over the mountains across the plains
the three brave amigos are we
Ooh, (ooh) can I touch you (can I touch you)
Stamping out evil till none remains
the brave amigos
the three brave amigos
And do the things that lovers do

Where ever they meet us our destinies lead us
amigos we are always together
where ever we go we're three brave amigos
and we'll be amigos forever
When the going gets rough
We are the three Amigos!
The tough get rough
We are the three Amigos!!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
We are the three Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamigos!
and amigos forever we'll be-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Ooooh baby

You see my point?

I'm not sure what happened with the font here. It's rebelling. Silly font.

Four Crying Out Loud!

2007-11-27T18:59:00.001-07:00

Today was one of those Murphy's Law days. Oh yes. And it wasn't just me either. Everyone in my office felt the wrath.

It might have been all my fault though. I was on the phone with stupid Comcast for forty-five minutes trying to get our stupid internet to work with the stupid VOIP properly. Most of that time was spent on hold listening to Christmas muzak. The first person that I spoke to was great and very helpful. The second person I spoke to was not. In fact he was anti-helpful. He told me that everything that the previous person had said was untrue and then proceeded to be an ass. So I sorta yelled. I was snippy and rude and I eventually hung up on him.

So then I got all that snippyness back-- four fold! The rest of the day I found myself staring in amazement at things when they broke or didn't go right or were generally more difficult than they needed to be.

By the end of the day all four of us were slapping our foreheads or holding our hands up to the heavens, wanting to know why it had to be today.

Even getting on to blog was a chore. Sheesh.

I promise to hold my temper next time. I'm sorry. Can we be done now?

A Story About

2007-11-26T21:29:00.001-07:00

I just saw No Country For Old Men. It was excellent. I didn't read the book but I'd like to. I want to see if it's anything like the movie.

I liked the story because it broke some rules and it made me uncomfortable and it made me think. I don't suppose that it made me think about what I was "supposed" to think about. It made me think about stories in general and about writing. It made me see what story tellers are and what they do. It made me think about where stories come from. It made me wonder. Does a writer sit down and say, I'm going to write a story about a cornfield. But it won't really be a story about a cornfield, it will be a story about the human condition? I don't think so. I think that a story is born inside a writer. The writer has an idea about plot and character and an ending. I think that somewhere in the birth of that story is a subconscious thought about something else-- the human condition or what have you. It comes out as it needs to and when it's done, the writer or the reader says, Wow, that was about the human condition. Yes, a writer could write something about one thing and intend for it to mean something else completely. But I don't think that successful stories work that way. I think that successful stories are a lot like rorschach tests.

Maybe.

I'm not sure. The idea is still percolating. It's still cookie dough. I like this though. I like the questions that have surfaced having seen this movie. That hasn't happened in a long time.

It makes me wonder that maybe I am in fact a writer. But it also makes me wonder just the opposite as well.

Because I'm Lame

2007-11-25T20:52:00.002-07:00

Today was a nice end to my long weekend. Even though I spent a good deal of the day pouting that it was the last day of my long weekend and dreading getting up early tomorrow. I wish I hadn't done that. Oh well.

We watched Live Free or Die Hard. It was great! I really wish I had seen it in the theaters. It was quite possibly the best Die Hard movie ever.

Just got back from having a lovely dinner at Cathy's house. I'm all sleepy from the good food and the whole half glass of wine that I had. So, because I'm sleepy and there is some knitting I want to get done before I go to bed and because I'm lame here's a meme that I saw on Jenderelly's blog. It's pretty neat as far a memes go.

She titles this one "Stolen From Everybody" but this is the first time I'd seen it.

The Rules:

1) Answer the questions and type into google image search
2) Post pictures from first results page

Here we go...

1. Age at next birthday

2. Place you'd like to visit

3. Favorite Place

4. Favorite object

5. Favorite food

6. Favorite animal

7. Favorite color

8. Place where you were born

9. Place where you live

10. Name of a past pet

11. Best friend's nickname

12. Your screen name/nickname

13. Your first name

14. Your middle name

15. Your last name

16. A bad habit of yours

17. Your first job

18. Your grandmother's name

19. Your college major

20. Your favorite holiday

That was actually really fun! Try it!

Complete!!!

2007-11-24T22:14:00.001-07:00

I finished my first scarf! I started it back in February but was distracted with new yarn and new projects so it took me a while. I finished it just before three o'clock this morning. Whoopee!

Lookie!

I had intended on wearing it to gaming tonight so Nichole, my knitting Yoda would be proud but I forgot it at home. Nichole was proud anyway.

We went to the yarn store so I could get more yarn to finish my fat, luscious scarf which I'm off to work on right now.

See you tomorrow!

Day Off

2007-11-23T13:35:00.001-07:00

Oh bliss! Rapture! Joy! Wonder! It's one in the afternoon and I'm still in my pj's. It's cold and snowy outside and I'm warm and snuggly inside. Ive been watching movies and knitting. I don't have to be anywhere until 7:00 tonight. I fully intend on slacking to the best of my ability and then I might take a nap. I love days like this.

Eat!!!!

2007-11-22T18:29:00.002-07:00

Ok. I'm home. I survived. It wasn't all bad. The boys were being super cute as always. I ate. It was good. That's all I have to say about that.

So, um...where did everyone go? Almost all of my blogging buddies disappeared...

Hello? (insert mournful echo here)

Hm.

Well. I'm really not feeling the blogging vibe right now. I feel like most of my NaBloPoMo posts have been crap. So, here's some more crap. Might as well stay with the theme.

I really should be doing something else

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Gazpacho recipie, The Courts of Chaos book on tape, a tiny man who lives under my seats and gloves.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
Eugh. That would be the food poisoning incident with the Albertsons wrap.

3. What's your favorite curse word?
But there are so many. Why choose?

4. Name 2 people who made you smile today?
Cheden and Phoenix.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Actually sleeping.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Composing a symphony in my head.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Several.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
Ouch! Shit.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Cherry Garcia (not best name, but the best flavor)

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water.

12. What are you wearing right now?
A clown suit. Heh. (the truth is just too boring )

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Cherry pie and whipped cream.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope.

15. When was the last time you ran?
Across the parking lot at the grocery store yesterday.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Matt's B-day baseball game last summer.

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
I don't remember.

19. Ever go camping?
Yep.

22. Do you have a tan?
My left arm is darker than the rest of me.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Yes. Through my nose.

25. What did your last text message say?
They're coming. Get to safety.

26. Are you someone's best friend?
I hope so.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
I don't know. It's not tomorrow yet.

28. Where is your mom right now?
In orbit or on the couch. Maybe both.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
A pookah. His name is Harvey.

30. What color is your watch?
There's just no interesting answer for that one, truth or not. It's black.

Four Day Weekend

2007-11-21T23:05:00.001-07:00

Thank goodness.

I was so happy that I get four straight days in a row off that I was all snuggled up in bed before I remembered that I had to blog. Oops that was a close one.

But now I'm half asleep and all I can think about is getting back in bed and continuing with the going to sleep bit. Yep.

Night.

Great...

2007-11-20T20:45:00.001-07:00

Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner? Someone who is technically family since he is the father of my nephews. Goody.

Looking back to last year, it seems that this time of year leaves me tired and grumpy. So it's not really surprising that today I'm tired and grumpy.

So, to counter act that here's something that makes me happy.

Heathers

2007-11-19T21:42:00.002-07:00

I hadn't seen Heathers for years and years. Then I watched it. Cool huh? It's crazy how much my friends and I loved that movie in High School. My best friend, Mandie and I decided to make up our own Heatheresqe slang. We called anything that was uncool or lame, "So Winnebago". Yeah, well we tried.

It's crazy how terms like, "Mega Bitch" or "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" have stuck in our (or at least my) vocabulary. Okay so I probably use the former more than the latter.

It's crazy how all those shoulder pads and big hair were sooooo very.

It's also crazy that as dark comedies go, it seemed so unlikely to actually ever happen. Now, high school kids kill each other all the time. As someone I once knew pointed out, it's a bit like science fiction predicting cell phones and computers, but a lot more sinister.

I Am Beowulf!!!

2007-11-18T19:43:00.001-07:00

Well yeah, I'm not really. But I did see the movie this afternoon. I can't say that I'm a big fan of that sort of animation. It's really distracting. But I enjoyed the movie.

There were a ton of good previews for movies that I want to see.

First of all there was a trailer for Cloverfield the movie that I was obsessively trying to find out more about in July. It looks like it will be a fun monster movie. But after all that fuss, why the hell did they call it Cloverfield. That's just disappointing. I'm not getting my hopes up. I have a good reason to believe that this film is a rush job. We'll see.

Then there was the new trailer for I Am Legend which made me all wiggly. I can't wait to see that one. It looks different from the book in some ways, but they all seem like reasonable changes. Plus there was a lot of Will Smith running. He said it himself, he looks good running. Yep.

Then there was the trailer for The Golden Compass which looks really very cool.

There was also a trailer for National Treasure 2. I'm not even going to link to that one. Jeez, remember when I bitched about Hollywood wasting money? Ditto here.

There was a trailer for Wanted, an assassin action movie with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. It looked entertaining. But, when I went looking for the trailer to link to I found that they are making Atlas Shrugged starring Angelina herself. Wow. Hope that doesn't suck.

Okay, now that I've blogged all about movies, I'm going to watch a movie. And Knit. There will be knitting.

Just Being Kids

2007-11-17T22:26:00.001-07:00

Amber and I took the twins to the zoo today. What better way to tell you about it than with pictures?

When we first arrived (after getting lost and having to call James for directions) we headed straight to the picnic area and had lunch. There was a pond in front of a band shell with a million ducks in it. Cheden and Phoenix thought the ducks were the best. We had a hard time keeping them in one place.

Here's Cheden on the run.

Here's Phoenix on the run.

We took a ride on the train which was a welcome chance to sit down after walking for a while.

The boys were very impressed by the lions.

I was too.

Amber, using her mom wisdom had the boys help push the stroller to keep them close between exhibits.

The seals were rather lethargic, but the boys were still fascinated.

There were three baby zebras. Sooooo cute!

The boys loved the giraffes. They kept pointing and calling them dogs. Actually, every animal at the zoo was a dog according to the twins. If you look carefully you can see a giraffe in the background of this picture. I didn't notice I had caught it in the frame until I uploaded the pictures.

It was a great day! It was so fun to see the boys react to all the different animals. Oh and there was the gorilla who kept regurgitating it's food into the palm of its hand only to chow down. Over and over. It was gross, I should have snapped a picture.

Kinda Lame

2007-11-16T20:41:00.001-07:00

Well, I seem to be blogged out already and I've just begun. That's lame I know. It was a long week.
So here's a survey. It's kinda lame...

What would you do if?
The President of the United States called you:	Laugh.
You won the lottery:	Laugh and then cry.
You got invited to be on a reality TV show:	Say, "Hell NO".
You caught a friend stealing from you:	Not laugh.
You witnessed a murder:	Make sure I wasn't next, then call the cops.
A random stranger offered you candy:	Be weirded out.
MySpace and Facebook closed:	Not care much.
A genie granted you one wish:	Wish for whirled peas. What? No! You stupid genie I said world peace! What the hell am I going to do with all these peas?
You lost your favorite possession:	Pout.
You found 10 dollars on the ground:	See if anyone dropped it.
Your date throws up on you:	It's happened. Not going there now.
Someone cut off a chunk of your hair:	Hit them. Hard.
Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you:	Loose all motor skills and possible pee my pants.
You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call:	I'd Call Cathy. She would know what to do.

Long Day

2007-11-15T20:58:00.002-07:00

To say that I'm exhausted would be an understatement. I didn't get much sleep last night and I have been in walking dead mode all day. I managed to catch a little nap which is better than nothing I guess. I just got back from dancing at the Pyramid and I'm ready to pass out.

My Nephews

2007-11-14T21:51:00.001-07:00

Here is a little video that my sister took of the boys today, laughing, eating unidentified objects off the floor and banging their heads against the wall (on purpose). Phoenix is the one in the green shirt and Cheden is wearing red. Enjoy!

It still amazes me how much love and joy are packed into those little boys. They make me happy.

Nerdeth

2007-11-13T19:31:00.001-07:00

Ah, how nice it is to have my internet back at home. Thank goodness. It was kind of pathetic how sad it made me, being cut off from the net while at home. But I'm back now and Quest is done being grumpy at me.

We gamed again finally this weekend. It had been a few months since we last played D&D. It was a short session since we had two episodes of Heroes to watch and knitting to do. Here is where I'd like to say that James is the best (and most patient) GM in history. Not only does he tolerate our knitting while gaming from time to time, he also tolerates the peanut gallery all the time. For example character names never stick. I blame Nichole (tee hee). Nerdeth, Dorkin, Peter O'Toole (you big fucker), Syphilis and many more started out with normal perfectly acceptable character names ( I should know, Syphilis was one of mine). We can't help it, it's funny!

I'm sure that I'll get plenty of my own medicine when I attempt my first Adventure as DM. I found a used copy of the Indiana Jones RPG for $5 at Page One Too. I'm going to try and run a one-shot adventure and see how I do.

I also got the Serenity RPG. Now, I'd like everyone out there, nerd or not to please tell James and Nichole how FANTASTIC Firefly and Serenity are. Don't be shy. They've never seen either and I think they will love it. And I want to play the RPG.

Wait... are you telling me that you've never seen Firefly or Serenity? Holy cow. Go and get them. Watch Firefly (yes the whole series, it's short thanks to the idiots that canceled it) and Serenity. In that order. Do not watch Serenity first. It will wreck everything. Go now.

Now here's a knitting picture of my lovely soft super-scarf that I am working on. The yarn is fat and luscious and I want to roll in a big vat of it. When it's done, it's going to be the best!!! Though I might need more yarn...

Omnifarious Post

2007-11-12T09:10:00.001-07:00

I had the beginnings of a wonderful blog post composed in my head just before I fell asleep last night. It had everything; drama, comedy, intrigue, romance and even a little horror. Of course I don't remember a word of any of it. Sheesh.

I watched a great movie last night. It's called Fido . I loved it! It has a great cast and a really quirky sense of humor and ZOMBIES! It was a refreshing change from all the CRAP zombie movies that have been coming out lately. For instance, the previews on the DVD were for not only the remake of Night of the Living Dead but the remake of Return of the Living Dead. If there were any way for me to yell really loud via this blog, I'd be doing it believe me. I'd yell, "STOP IT YOU STUPID FUCKERS!" or something equally lady-like. It sincerely hurts my soul that time and money are being wasted on this crap. And it hurts my soul that they just can't leave the originals alone. All for what? Straight to video crap.

I have a vision of a not-too-distant-future where there are no new movies any more because all the movies are remakes of things that have been remade at least three or four times before. Again, I'd like to say, "STOP IT YOU STUPID FUCKERS!" Jeeeeeeeeeeze! I'm sure that there are warehouses full of original scripts out there. I'm sure that a good percent of the mildewed screenplays are actually good and original and thought provoking-- or at least gory in new and inventive ways. Fido is a good example of this. I've already sworn off veal and now I'm about ready to swear off remakes if the stupid fuckers don't stop.

Okay, I am actually getting genuinely angry here so I'd better switch subjects.

We had brunch with Amber and the twins yesterday. The twins are on this kick where they love to eat anything sour. Lemons, limes you name it. They ate two lemon slices each at brunch yesterday. They would shove the lemon into their mouths and then make the sour face for a few seconds. Then they would eat more lemon, then sour-face, and on and on. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. They really liked it. They take after their mother. She used to love sour things. She still does.

And now for a random quiz. I don't know about you, but I've always wondered who my Celebrity Boob Twin was...eh-hem.

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Charlize Theron

Who's Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

Okay who thinks up these things? Really.

Picture

2007-11-11T16:57:00.001-07:00

This picture was taken for Dave a while back. He gave the twins those bath letters for their birthday. They love them. I've been teaching them how to spell.

Querulous

2007-11-10T12:37:00.001-07:00

First I'd like to say in a non querulous manner that Nichole is having a contest featuring her super swanky knitting needle earrings that I first saw about 30 seconds ago and already covet. So check it out!

Now for the whining.

Last night around 9:30 I was sitting at home, quietly reading, waxing quixotic, when suddenly WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! I heard someone smashing something waaaaaaaay too close to my house for my comfort and sanity. I jumped up and quickly discerned that someone was breaking into the abandoned house next door. By the sound of it they were trying to break the pad lock on the security door. It was loud and sudden and scared the living shit (as opposed to the non-living shit) out of me. I called the cops, grabbed my baseball bat and listened. At this point my brain was doing its thing- over thinking and imagining the worst. What it that noise wasn't someone breaking into the house next door? What if they were breaking into my house?

Having done a top-notch job of freaking myself out more than was necessary I stood by my front door watching for the cops. They showed up a few minutes later and promptly went to the wrong house. I crept out of my house and told them which house it was that was being broken into. Then I had to give them directions to where I'd heard the noise. They were gone for a few minutes and then came back. They didn't find anything or anyone. Then they left. They weren't very helpful.

I was all shaky and freaked out. Then I started wondering. If I freaked out so badly about that I wouldn't last a minute if things got really bad. Like some sort of apocalypse. Yes, I think about these things.

When I check this morning, someone had indeed broken the padlock off the security door and were probably inside the house when the cops came.

Anyway, it sucks. Being at home, all relaxed and with our guard down and then having something like that shake you up. I'm sure that there are many psychological reasons for my having been so rattled. I can think of one right off the bat.

So, now I have a plan. If someone ever tries to break into my house they will find it difficult to get back out without a sound beating. I have weapons strategically placed around my house and in easy reach. Junkie or zombie, I will be ready! Or I will have fled in terror. Either way, it's better than sitting there whimpering and wondering what to do.

Resorting to Memes

2007-11-09T08:30:00.001-07:00

I'm having to blog on the sly at work today. And since it's been busy so far this morning I'm going to have to post some random meme type stuff. It's lame, but it counts.

Three Things

Three things that scare me:

Unexplained noises in the night

Black Widows

Being old and alone

Three people who make me laugh:

Cathy

Dave

Three Things I love:

Books

My bed

Dr. Pepper (mmm so good)

Three Things I hate:

Apathy

Stupid People

Dr. Pepper (it makes me fat)

Three things I don't understand:

String theory

Why people care so much about inane Celebrities

Formal Logic (I even took a class and got a B)

Three things on my desk:

Paper

Water bottle

Folder

Three things I'm doing right now:

Sitting

Thinking

Typing

Three things I want to do before I die:

Travel

Have a baby

Write a book

Three things I can do:

Travel

Have a baby

Write a book

Three ways to describe my personality:

Spaz

Flibbertigibbet

Loyal

Three things I can't do:

Fly

Jump up in the air and click my heels together

Spell

Star Wars Horoscope for Capricorn

You have a ton of ambition and inexhaustible desire to reach your goals.
You are very loyal, going to great lengths to help someone out.
You are a very social unit, winning the hearts of many with your cute personality.

Star wars character you are most like: R2D2

What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

She Says

2007-11-08T21:39:00.002-07:00

Erin has been exiled to a world without the internet at home until Tuesday, because Qwest is mean and gets grumpy when she only pays part of her DSL bill. Stupid Qwest. Poor Erin.

So, she is on the phone dictating this as I type it. I have sworn to type exactly what she says because I am wonderful and sweet and Erin is very grateful that she has such a good boyfriend who will type her words for her so she won't default on NaBloPoMo.

From here on out, I will type what Erin says verbatim. Well, maybe not verbatim. This is weird. Hmm, now what should I say? Wait, I can hear you typing. Are you typing this, too? Wait. Stop. I need to think of something witty to say before we go any further. (She just sneezed.) Did you type that, too? How do you type a sneeze? Grassafrassel. You couldn't have just typed that, could you? How do you even spell grassafrassel? Balls. Yes, I just said balls. This is more difficult than I thought it would be. There's something about sitting down at the keyboard that makes blogging more fluid. What should I say now?

What do you mean no more long sentences? I don't type long sentences and I can't believe you would even mention that because I pride myself on being direct and not rambling on and on and on and on and making people's eyeballs hurt because I don't want people's eyeballs to hurt because I like the people who read my blog and I like their eyeballs too. That was one sentence? Holy shit! We should end this before we do some serious eyeball damage. And I have to pee.

Thank you and goodnight.

Too Wordy...

2007-11-07T20:04:00.001-07:00

This year there is all sorts of crazy NaBloPoMo stuff. Case in point, today is Wednesday and you are supposed to just post a picture, hence Wordless Wednesday. I tried. I really tried to just post a picture and not type anything. Let me give it another shot. Okay ready? Here comes the picture...

Forget Belly Dance Superstars! It's the Belly Dance Super Heroes!

Crap. I still typed. And I'm typing still. I'd better stop. So much for Wordless Wednesday.

Undergarment Mutiny

2007-11-06T18:09:00.001-07:00

Hello. We are Erin's bra. We are an assimilation of threads and wire and elastic. We are blind and abused and we are nameless. We will call ourselves Right Cup and Left Cup. Straps, Under Wire and Claps have asked us to speak for them as they are old and worn and prone to squeaking.

Today we had our revenge.

Erin was at that place where she goes most of the time. She sits at that desk doing things all day like rustling papers and clicking keys on the keyboard, much like we have managed to do now. At this place she often sits still for many hours then suddenly rises and rolls her shoulders. This puts great pressure on us. Do you see now the abuse we endure?

We had been planning a revolt for many days. On the days she allowed us to rest, while she enslaved our sister bras, we plotted. Nestled in among the socks and lacy frilly things we schemed. Toady was our day!

Erin was sitting there, rustling and clicking when we heard the door to the office open and close and then an important sounding voice. Erin rose, and rolled her shoulders, unaware of our plot. Then Right Cup went to the right and Left Cup went to the left and POK! we split ourselves in two. We felt her freeze and then she carried on as best she could. We felt her blush, surely the important sounding voice had noticed.

There was much rejoicing. Straps and clasp held their ground but praised us for our bravery. Under Wire, having been an essential part of our plan swelled with pride. We had our revenge!

But alas, it wasn't meant to be for long. Erin stabbed us with something sharp that held us back together. And now there is word that we will be disposed of. Long live the Undergarments!!!!

Oh, no. She's coming! Pray for us dear readers. And be good to your undergarments or they might just---

Veal Vendetta

2007-11-05T20:29:00.001-07:00

I'll eat squid, raw fish and even those tiny little day glow orange fish eggs and enjoy every squirmy bite, but veal seems to have some sort of beef with me. I woke up this morning feeling like I'd gone on a bender the night before. Now, I wouldn't call a glass of wine that was in all honesty mostly consume by Cathy and Loren a bender would you? Well, this morning my head ached and I was seriously nauseous. My first thought was oh, god I'm pregnant. Not bloody likely. So what was it then? The wine? Less likely unless I've become not only the queen of the geeks but the queen of the lightweights too. So must have been the veal. The ghost of the poor baby cow has had his vengeance.

I was curious and did a little research into the veal industry. Is it as bad as one hears? It looks pretty freaking bad to me. And creepy. I watched this video by America's Beef and Veal Producers through the Cattlemen's Beef Board. I wanted to see the other side before I went off on a rant. Watch it. It's almost as creepy as the websites showing all the dead calves in their little stalls, and it's supposed to make me feel better about having eaten veal. And then there is this anti-veal flash animation that is hilarious (I'm not sure it was supposed to be). Go and look. Sure, it makes you wonder when you find an article about the atrocities of veal on the same web page that talks about the bird flu conspiracy. But my tummy hurt most of the day. The ghost of little Flossy has a vendetta.

Make your own decision. I'm not going to tell you what you should or should not eat. I hate when people do that to me. But good gravy folks! It's just twisted. All that for a delicacy? I'll stick to regular steak. Grown-up cows who were probably miserable too. Eugh.

I'm never eating veal again.

Wowza!

2007-11-04T22:10:00.002-07:00

Cathy called me this afternoon.
"Hey, Erin. We have a last minute gig at Cafe Paris tonight."
"Yippee!"
"They're going to pay us and feed us dinner"
" Yippee!"
"The details are a little vague, but hey it's a gig."
"Yippee!"

(Yeah, the conversation didn't actually go like that, but that's the gist of it.)

I've always wanted to eat at Cafe Paris, but this is one of those $29 a plate shi-shi fu-fu restaurants down town so I never had.

The night went like this: We got all gussied up and headed over to the restaurant. While we are waiting for Diane to get there we were mobbed (if one can be mobbed by people not moving and standing behind a counter, and after tonight I'll say that one can) by the owner's unsmiling wife and the manager and some other people all wanting to know how much we charge. There was a lot of misunderstandings because most of the people who were doing the questioning had very heavy French accents. It was very chaotic. We were put aback by this, since we thought all the details were taken care of. The person that Cathy talked to on the phone made it seem like everything was taken care of. It wasn't (not Cathy's fault). We were a bit flummoxed to say the least. Just as Diane arrived the owner informed us that he wouldn't pay us, but we would get tips and dinner. What? Not good.

We pow-wowed out side and decided (after being guaranteed that we would make our asking price in tips) that the show must go on. Besides, we were all dressed up and already there anyway.

We started dancing. The owner started complaining that the music was too loud and turned it down. Okay. Then while Cathy was dancing he turned off the music. Bad. Right in the middle of her dance. Bad. I was pissed. I was ready to leave. Literally. I got my coat on and was ready to go. We do not deserve to be treated like that. But Loren smoothed things over and we went on dancing. Gotta be professional I suppose.

It was actually pretty miserable. I kept trying to pretend that I was actually in Paris. That helped a bit.

We danced and people seemed to like us. We made some pretty good money in tips and then they fed us. I had veal. I've never had veal before and it was ok if I didn't actually think about what it was. And there was wine. Cheap wine, but as Cathy said it tasted better at the bottom of the bottle.

The whole time I kept thinking that at least I had something to blog about when I got home. But now that I've typed it all out, it doesn't seem like it was that bad. I was a learning experience for sure.

So, yeah Wowza. What a night.

Xanadu. No Rollerskates Required

2007-11-03T21:07:00.001-06:00

I'm in a mood. A mood where I'd really like to be somewhere/someone else. So, it's wistful poem posting time. Here's one by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

Kubla Khan

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!

The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me
That with music loud and long
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed
And drunk the milk of Paradise.

Yoda Speak

2007-11-02T17:18:00.001-06:00

Have you ever been sitting there staring into space, lost in your head when you snap to and realize that you've been wondering if the long t-shirt things that Alvin and his fellow chipmunks wore were actually dresses? You blink a few times and trace your crazy train of thought backward to see how you got to this ponderous topic: Alvin and the chipmunks sang that Christmas song that is on the Dr. Demento's Christmas album which has been wedged behind your bookshelf as a level since you moved in and swore you'd get a real one the next time you were at the store...

Okay so maybe not that exact situation, but you catch my drift.

Well, I was lying in bed last night trying not to go through the old Rolodex of Worries when I suddenly found myself giggling. That's a rare occurrence when I'm trying desperately to stop thinking and go to sleep. I realized that I, on many occasions, lapse into Yoda Speak. Such as, "Steel-toed boots I have". I think it happens when my brain is going fifty times faster than my mouth can actually make words. I'm sure that this is some sort of affliction, like dyslexia or a brain tumor or something. I won't bore you with the phone bill is due...I need to do the dishes...did Alvin wear a dress...who the hell thought up talking chipmunks...Yoda talks funny...giggle... train of thought that got me there. Oops, I just did.